Joe Theismann, former Toronto Argonaut, is irate . You see, the CFL team signed Ricky Williams, currently serving a suspension from the NFL for illicit drug use, for the upcoming season. Ricky’s current NFL team, the Miami Dophins, has granted Williams permission to do so. But, for Theismann, that's not good enough.
Theismann declared himself “embarrassed to be a Toronto Argonaut right now.”
"I don't ever want to be mentioned in the same breath as Ricky Williams as a football player. He's a disgrace to the game. The man doesn't deserve to play football. He should go on with his life and treat his drug addictions or go do whatever he wants to do. He's been suspended from the National Football League on multiple occasions. Doesn't anybody have any class anywhere? For gosh sakes, let the kid go do what he wants to do. He doesn't want to play football."
I agree, Williams should try to treat his addictions. So should the many people with drinking problems who have graced professional sports over the decades. As for anybody having class, any more, Theismann apparently thinks he alone is standing up for the integrity of the game and the world more generally. It must be a lonely job, that. Theismann's Atlasian burden aside, his claim that Williams doesn’t want to play football is simply curious – why would Williams sign with a Canadian team, earning Canadian dollars for goodness sake, if he didn’t want to play football. Does Ricky crave easier access to Canadian beer?
Theismann also lectured Ricky about the rules:
"We have rules in the National Football League. It's real simple. Don't do drugs and you can play. It's a privilege to be able to play professional football. It's not some rite of passage. He's insulted the Miami Dolphins after they took him back and gave him a chance to play. Now he insults the intelligence of everybody that thinks that doing drugs is OK. To me, it's the wrong message to send to kids. It's the wrong thing to be doing, and the Toronto Argonauts have embarrassed themselves as an organization signing him."
Now,as I understand it Ricky has a) been suspended from the
NFLin accordance with the rules, and b) signed to play with the Argonauts
pursuant to the Dolphins’ permission and, therefore, in accordance with the rules. Maybe
Theismann’s statement about insulting the intelligence of people who think
doing drugs is OK is a misquote. If not, it’s a fitting end to a barely
coherent rant. It’s also got to be the first time in history that anyone,
anywhere, has felt compelled to defend the honor of the Toronto Argonauts.
By the way, here is a profile of a book by high-priced divorce attorney Mark Barondess, who represented Theismann’s wife in a divorce case in which it was revealed that Theismann told his wife that he had a right to commit adultery “because God wants Joe Theismann to be happy.”
Yeah, Ricky’s a disgrace.